It’s been a sad day at the Waite household. My husband’s father passed away yesterday after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. What amazed us all was how shocked we were even though we’d been preparing for it for a long time and even praying for it. I guess you never can be fully prepared. Bill’s mother is not doing well. She is physically frail to begin with and had just gotten out of the hospital after a bad fall. She was brought up in a generation that seemed to make women feel guilty about everything. For some strange reason she blames herself for her husband’s death. She also feels that she has lost him twice – once to Alzheimer’s and now to death. It can’t be easy to lose your companion of 59 years. This is the first parent either of us has lost.
My father-in-law’s relationship with his entire family has always been a little dysfunctional. Without going into private details, he was a very narcissistic man who only thought of his own wants and needs. But he did manage to raise (with a great deal of influence from their mother) some very fine children, including a son (my husband) who is one of the nicest people you could ever meet. One of the other daughters-in-law said that she had recently read an article that said there are four things you must say in order to come to terms with a loved one’s death. “I love you, I forgive you, forgive me, and goodbye.” Even if the words are not said before death, there is a great deal of healing in saying them after.
On a happier note, I am off to Seattle for the weekend. I was going to cancel, but my husband insists that I go. My sister and I have had this weekend planned for a long time and he has plenty to keep him busy. In fact, he will drop me off at my sister’s and then continue on to SeaTac Airport to pick up his sister who is flying in today. For Christmas my sister gave me tickets to “The Lion King”. Everyone who has gone to it has raved and I’m very excited. I’m also going to take my gift certificate that my parents gave me to the little yarn shop around the corner from my sister’s house. Plans right now are to buy the yarn for Rogue, but those plans could change once I start fondling all that beautiful yarn. So I’m going with an open mind.
Next week will be a busy one with family, services, work and school, so I will probably not get around to posting for at least a week. Great progress has been made on the shawl (much better than I anticipated), so who knows! Maybe a surprise?
4 thoughts on “”
Dorothy: I’m saddened by your loss, and you are in my thoughts.
Dorothy, I am so sorry about your father-in-law. A few months ago, we lost my husband’s mother to Alzheimers, and several years before that, his father to the same thing. We also felt that we were very prepared for her passing until it happened. We came to love Joann in a completely different dimention as she was more and more unable to communicate with us. We miss her as she was when she was well and we miss her with her illness also. Does that make sense?
I am so sorry for your loss, and will be praying for your family.
Enjoy the Lion King! Our kids got us tickets for Christmas, so we will be going next month!
You and your family will be in my prayers as you go through this sad time.
So sad! Hope the services provide some closure. Thanks for your comment – he’s not getting a big head because I haven’t really let him know ALL of it…Once again, my thoughts are with you!